Looming in the Shadows

"Two things scare me. The first is getting hurt. But that's not nearly as scary as the second, which is losing."--Lance Armstrong 

Since the day I started this journey one fear has loomed in the shadows. No matter what training plan or course I took on the one thought that reverberated through my mind was "Don't get hurt." I have heard one too many stories about people who suffer an injury then fall back into unhealthy, sedentary habits or who no longer expect victory because of physical limitations. I've held back pushing myself too hard with running because of my fear of injury. So, I have to laugh at the irony of my current situation. I didn't injure myself while running or doing Insanity, a 60-day conditioning program by Beachbody. No heroic story of me tumbling down a hill midstride while on an 8-mile run through the urban oasis of Nashville. . .Nope.

The real story: I twisted my knee while line (or "twine") dancing in flip flops on vacation--no alcohol was involved. The last jump I've been able to do was for the poolside rendition of  the Macarena. To add insult to injury I walked around Downtown Disney on a bum knee for at least two hours. And now I'm sitting here trying to figure out how much time I have to recuperate so that I can finish training for the 13.1 Chicago.

This is where the lessons I've learned over the past year are tested. The first couple of days I was afraid but now I'm all about devising a plan of action because I know that a sedentary life is not for me. I know that I'm not the same person, so that fear has no place to take root. I know that I'm not a quitter, so NOT shooting for completing the race is not an option. Even if I am not 100% by race time, I'm going to stand on that starting line and give it my best shot. I have looked forward to this race since last October and have had a vision of my family sitting along the course supporting me.

So, I will back off a little and allow my knee time to heal. If I don't feel any better by mid week I'll make an appointment with my doctor and go from there. Whatever happens I am no longer afraid of the "What If" looming in the shadows. What if I gain back all that weight? What if I can't run anymore? What if I never get any smaller? What if. . .What if. . .What if I choose to live in victory and not defeat? What if I focus on my possibilities and not my limitations? What if I take each day as it comes and just be grateful for the course thus far? Shadows aren't so scary.

To become a member of Jenita Lawal's team, please visit www.beachbodycoach.com/fitgirlposse  and sign up for a free membership. To view the Fit Girl Posse run/walk schedule, visit http://www.fitgirlposse.com/ . Follow us on Facebook at www.facebook.com/fitgirlposse  Be Fit4Life!!

The In-Between

"When it is obvious that the goals cannot be reached, don't adjust the goals, adjust the action steps." --Confucious 

Last night I finally watched the movie Eat Pray Love and was delighted with the "sweetness of doing nothing" concept (I won't even try to spell the Italian word). For whatever reason it made me think about my current fitness quest. Somewhere along the way my focus moved from the sweetness of distance run/walking to the "must do."

For the past four weeks I've been working through the INSANITY program as a way of increasing my stamina and conditioning myself to run faster. I was thrown yet another loop in my life last week when I found out that I will no longer get kid-free weekends. My weekends were my time to train and race; I was devastated. I felt like the little creature from Lord of the Rings, "My precious!"  On Saturday the 26th I had a run planned with my group, which I could not attend because I had my kids and the fitness center doesn't allow kids. I cannot tell you how badly I wanted to cry. . .

I ended up running between mailboxes with my 5 year old. Somewhere in the midst of running with him, I started to enjoy myself. I started to have fun. We would run really fast one way then walk back or lunge or walk backwards or do jumping jacks (which he loves) or even spin around in circles. While I don't know that I'd classify our time as training, it was beneficial to my soul because two years ago I would not have been able to hang with him. Somewhere in between races I'd forgotten the pure joy of being able to move, to cover distances that others wouldn't dare, to push my body to new limits.

Somewhere in between sweat sessions I had stopped feeling that surge of invincibility that comes when you recognize your power. At one point I kicked it and ran as fast as I could. Oh my!! The wind whipping in my face, the sound of my son laughing, the rhythm of my heart, the power in my legs. In that moment I was invincibly joyous--it didn't matter how many miles I covered or where. It doesn't matter that I'm not losing the weight like I thought I would (but I'm getting smaller, go figure!) because I am enjoying the journey.

As I continue to train for the 13.1 Chicago, I've adjusted my plan of action. I still believe that I can reach my time goal. Initially I did not plan on having the kids with me, but they may have to accompany me--which is not neccsarily a bad thing. They will get to see Mommy run (which they never have) and they will get to meet their uncles, aunts, and cousins. The thing that I believe more than anything is that God has a purpose for my life and that all the hiccups and bumps will work out for my good.  When you know that you will be victorious, you can focus better on the plan of action (or devising the best way to reach the goal). For now, I am enjoying the sweet moments in between.

To become a member of Jenita Lawal's team, please visit www.beachbodycoach.com/fitgirlposse  and sign up for a free membership. To view the Fit Girl Posse run/walk schedule, visit http://www.fitgirlposse.com/ . Follow us on Facebook at www.facebook.com/fitgirlposse  Be Fit4Life!!

The Charge of the Tortoise

Made for the long haul!

"He conquers who endures." --Persius    


It's over. The day I've been half dreading and half hoping for is over. I conquered the 17th Annual Tom King Classic Half Marathon. Of course, "conquered" may be an exageration of sorts but this is my blog so I can make it sound however I want :) If you've been following my blog, you know that I did not prepare very well for this race. Old Man Winter kicked my chicken--I don't like running outside in the cold--so I did not get in my recommended long runs leading up to the race. My longest was probably right at 7 but definitely under 8--and that was only once!

Needless to say I was nervous. If you've ever done a half marathon you know the kind of wear your body goes through. It's not like hopping into a 5k at the last minute; multiply that 5k by 4.22! Add to that I thought I was getting "signs" not to do it: the shoes I ordered had to be returned so I waited too late to break in new ones, I forgot to pick up my race packet, my MP3 player crashed. Plus, I started getting hot in my nifty race outfit so I had to change shirts in the parking lot right before the race. These are not good signs, people!

For the first time in my oh so extensive (not) racing career the "turtles" got to start early. I'm used to us being waaaaayyyyy in the back so as not to interfere with the "real runners." Let me tell you, it felt awesome to be AT the starting line. I swear I heard the bagpipes playing "Chariots of Fire"--yes, they had a bagpipe player. You should have seen me! Shoulders back, eyes straight ahead, strong strides, wind blowing through my afro. . .for about a good 45 seconds. For 30 minutes we tortoises had the course all to ourselves with no pesky hares.

After that show of bravado for the crowd I started my intervals. I must have looked like a pro because at mile two a couple of ladies asked if I was listening to an interval program. That's when I hipped them to my oh so intricate technique: walk until you're bored, run until you're tired. I soon realized they were Yip-Yappers so I ran farther ahead to get away from them. That's when I peeped out my "pace group." For the next three miles we played cat-and-mouse, keeping each other at about a 13:50 pace. (shut it! I told you I am slow.) I even had the audacity to taunt the 11 mile marker by pointing and saying, "I'll be back!" I think I saw it shiver in fear, or maybe the wind blew it, whatever.

About 50 minutes into the race the "real runners" appeared. All of a sudden the once peaceful course was full of sweaty, iPod wearing runners. I'm not sure what happened but I think my inner She-Ra had a sip of 5 Hour Energy because I was getting it! You should have heard me, "On your left!" as I passed people.  And then the cramping started. . .The distance between my pace group and me became wider and wider until eventually they were about a mile ahead of me.

At about 6.5 miles the outer three toes on my left foot went numb. I have no idea why. At mile 8 I was fighting off cramps in my left calf and hamstring, right ankle, numb right foot, and numb under my big toe on my left foot. My inner She-Ra must have gone out for a latte because that heifer was nowhere to be found. On top of that, I was out of water and the next water station wasn't until mile 10. About half-way through the 9th mile I caught up with one of my pace group buddies; she was suffering with a aching ankle and blisters on her feet. We walked together for a while but she eventually passed me.

When I finally made it to mile 10 I could feel myself run out of steam (filled up my water bottle!). I started to give up but all of a sudden the image of Jesus Christ walking up to Calvary carrying a cross flashed through my mind and I heard "finish the course set before you." Thankfully no one was around me because I was sobbing. I cannot tell you the pain I was feeling. About that time I passed by the 11th mile marker again, but this time it taunted me; I could swear I it sounded like that kid from the Simpson's (Ha,Ha!).
 
At the marker for mile 12 I could see the stadium in the distance. I raised my hands over my head (at this point my hands were swollen) and just yelled, "Thank you, Jesus!" The man next to me laughed and said, "Amen!" Just as I rounded the corner for the trek into the tunnel (we ran through the players tunnel onto the football field) I saw a man in a yellow shirt with a picture of Christ carrying a cross; it read "He walked for you and me." OMG!! You know I started crying again.
 
As I rounded the field I saw myself on the jumbo tron and heard them say "Jenita Lawal" and three people ahead of me was my pace group buddy. We hugged and thanked each other for the encouragement. Although my official time (3:23:10) was not what I had hoped (3:15) I am so thankful to have finished. My time was actually 10 minutes and 26 seconds better than my pace 6 months ago for the WHM Nashville. I know that if I had hydrated properly and avoided the leg cramps I would have come in at about 3 hours even.
 
This tortoise will be better prepared for the 13.1 Chicago in June. One day I may morph into a hare. . .what I lack in speed I make up for in heart. Onward!

To become a member of Jenita Lawal's team, please visit www.beachbodycoach.com/fitgirlposse  and sign up for a free membership. To view the Fit Girl Posse run/walk schedule, visit http://www.fitgirlposse.com/ . Follow us on Facebook at www.facebook.com/fitgirlposse  Be Fit4Life!!