Magic Pills and Blueprints

"Compare yourself against yourself, and no one else. You're not working with their body, you're working on yours, whilst it's good to have an idea of how you want to look, don't go competing with the fitness instructor at your gym. Compete against the person in the mirror because that's what important." --forum post from Bodybuilding.com

"Really, if there was an easy solution, Oprah would have bought it," ~Kara Curits

I have a really bad habit of comparing myself to other people and then beating myself up. For years I have had this problem and it's not something that is fixed overnight and with regard to my weightloss journey it's really annoying.

It's no secret that I've been a little frustrated this past month because I feel like my weightloss has stagnated--even though my general fitness has improved and I haven't gained any weight. I've tweaked some things with my eating and this week have been on a white-out diet (not 100% successful but still an improvement). I've started taking P90X Peak Health Formula supplements to keep my energy up and combat that run-down feeling I was getting mid week. Anyone looking at my efforts would scratch their head and wonder why I'm not seeing results.

This morning I read about a local trainer who lost 170 pounds in 7 months all on her own--no surgery, no magic pills.  Daily I read about other coaches and Beachbody customers who drop 60-100 pounds in a matter of months. I read about other people who have had bariatric surgery and dropped 100 pounds in their first year. I cannot help but ask myself, "what's wrong with me? why isn't my story like thiers?" It has taken me what seems like forever to lose 89 pound--that's with surgery and busting my butt. My doctor wants to give me an adjustment (that means add more fluid to my band) but I keep saying no because I want to go the rest of this journey on my own. There is something I have to prove to myself.

The question that's been mulling around my head lately is "Is it worth all this effort?" I know the answer to that question. I know deep down that I'm not doing this for the superficial benefits. I know that I am stronger, faster, healthier than I've ever been. I know that the time and effort I put into my health is worth it. As much as I know all of this, it is still frustrating. And yet every morning I whisper a prayer and get up for my 5am workout. Four days a week I pack my bag for my lunchtime workout. Every Thursday I meet with my fit club. I will not give up nor give in because I've come too far.

On August 1st Beachbody is starting a new challenge and as much as I love cash and prizes, my goal is to lose 1.5 lbs a week until the end of the year. I want to end 2011 weighing under 200 lbs because I have not been under that mark since I was 12 years old. Embarking on the challenge also means that I have to stop just doing it my way and follow the full program. I am ready to go to the next level and I'm willing to do what it takes to get there--which does not include that elusive magic pill.