As I sit here 25 days away from the Women's Half Marathon-Nashville I am a little baffled at how magical time can be. There are moments in the day when the minutes seem to last forever, but then you look up and a year has passed. Looking through old photographs, reading old journal entries, seeing friends from your past; all these things remind us of how drastically life can change over time.
This year is so different from last year. . .some good, some not so good. Last year one of my driving forces was the fear of not finishing. That fear kept me pushing because I refused to make a fool of myself by falling out of the race midway or being picked up by the sweep truck. I was also driven by the amazement of the things that I was accomplishing. I almost couldn't believe that I was actually walking 6, 7, 8, 13.1 flipping miles!! It seemed so insurmountable then. . .
I'm thankful that I will be stronger and more confident this time around, as this will be my 4th half marathon in a year (whoa nelly!). I am also thankful that a couple of the women from the Fit Girl Posse running group will be participating as well. Last year, God sent my friend Sandy as my angel that day. I was so thankful that I was not alone. While we didn't run the race together, she was there with me at the start and was there to capture my (emotional) finish on video. This year, I hope to be that witness for my FGP buddies. I am so excited to be able to share this part of their journey.
No, I'm not immediately enthusiastic when my alarm goes off at 4:45am (I've had to set it 15 minutes earlier b/c I kept hitting snooze too often). No, I don't bound out of bed whistling and revving to go. Each morning I have to remind myself why I do what I do. I remind myself of what I've gained by making the commitment each day to live differently than years past. My enthusiasm doesn't kick in until I'm about half a mile through my run and even then I rely on my inner coach to prod myself to keep going past 1 mile (if time permits). I want to be the person I am now. A few years ago I used to daydream about being someone different. . .wasting time and precious moments of my life.
I am not the fastest. I am not the most experienced. I am not the slimmest. But I bet I could probably win a medal for most enthusiastic. Whenever I race I'm always encouraging others along the course or waving to the volunteers or dancing for the musicians--or because a good song is playing on my iPod (I tend to sing and dance a little as I run/walk). Whatever I lack in speed and agility I make up for in enthusiasm and heart. Part of that is because I understand that there is joy in the pursuit, not just the completion. I don't wait until the end to enjoy the race. Every mile I complete is a mile further away from diabetes, heart disease, feelings of inferiority, depression. . .every mile is a step closer to that dream God hid in my heart so long ago. Every patch of time I have is worth something to me. How can I not find joy in that? How can I not be enthusiastic about that?
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