Off Topic. . .but

Whenever you find yourself choosing to be less of yourself to please other people, you have a problem. Funny how that happens in ALL relationships, not just romantic ones. I'm ever learning to not compromise who I am and what I want so others feel more comfortable or will like me. Maybe part of that comes from being an Army brat and always having to make new friends. . maybe it comes from always being the "big girl" and wanting to be wanted/liked.

All I know is that at this point I tired of it. I've learned to say no when I really want to say it (I'm working on the not feeling guilty part). I've learned to walk away from a person/situation when I'm being trampled on and start feeling beat up. I've learned that who I am is okay and I actually like me. I like my goofines, energy, optimism, tenacity, ability to focus, love of children, ability to make people feel included. . .I could go on :P I've come to realize that while I may not be the jazziest, most decked out, most eloquent, just all around illest, I am the best ME there is.

Day 30 (that's T-H-I-R-T-Y)

I think I've reached a turning point. Last night I was dead tired but made sure to pack my gym bag before I went to bed. That ended up being a good decision b/c I was running late this morning. At 11:00 I ate my pre-workout carbs/protein, at 11:30 I started hydrating. At 1:00 I headed up the stairs to the gym. . .only to realize that I left my running shoes at home (by the door, of all places). What's a girl to do? Did I turn around and go out to lunch instead? No, I went on up, changed my clothes and worked out with good old calistenics and resistance bands.

That decision lets me know that I've turned a corner. I've committed myself to this new lifestyle. I've been overweight all of my life (at least the parts I remember). In 2003 I lost 60 pounds but as soon as my life changed my committment to exercise waned. My error was that exercise was a thing to be done, it wasn't really part of my life. My goal then was weight loss and how I looked on the outside. My goal now is to be the best me I can be. That is something that will never stop; meaning, even when I reach my goal I need to set a new bar. What else am I capable of doing? Can I inspire others to re-set the bar?

Exercise is no longer "something to do" for me, it is an avenue for me to BE. God made these muscles for movement. He created endorphins so that when things got hard we'd be infused to push through. He created lactic acid to feed the muscles. When I'm out there walking/jogging, I look around and am in awe of how beautiful my surroundings are. I found a new park on Wednesday and thought about how nice it would be to walk in that area. I pray that God sustains me and helps me turn the corner for good. I don't think it's a coincidence that our walk in this life is equated to a race. . .

Day 29--Yeah baby!!

I can't believe it's almost been a month since I started training. I feel so good!! Although the scale hasn't moved I'm not bugging because I'm more focused on clocking my miles every week and increasing my endurance.

Let's see. . .

Monday, July 26th I got completed 5 miles in about 1.5 hours (that's minus time wasted waiting on traffic lights). It was so cool. I felt like Rocky Balboa when I finished. After I settled down a bit I had a mild case of the shakes, which I think is normal b/c of the adrenaline.

Tuesday I jog-walked about 1/2 a mile and then did my weight training circuit.

Wednesday I actually relaxed. The most strenuous thing I did was an attempt at a Yoga DVD that I borrowed from the library.

Today (Thursday) I completed a 30 min interval session: 5 min warm up with 1 min walk/2mins jogging then a 5 min cool down. I made a great playlist for my MP3 player which helped keep me motivated.

Working my way up to a six-mile walk this week and then the Smyrna 5K on Saturday, Aug 7th.

Onward soldier!!

Day 23

Well, I made it past the 3 week mark. I've sustained a healthy lifestyle (for the most part) for 23 days. God is good. . .I'm continuing to make progress and am looking for a 5 mile route to walk on Monday.

I've given up trying to get my walks in on the weekends b/c it's so hard to get a sitter. So, since Dee keeps the boys late on Monday nights I'm just going to use that time to get my long walks/jobs in. If I just do it from here that gives me 3 hours to workout and head to Murfreesboro. If I don't hit 5 miles this week I will be behind schedule.

Day 19--Wow!!!

Okay, so for 19 days I've been training for the Women's Half Marathon that will take place on Sept 25th. This weekend was tough b/c I really started feeling discouraged b/c of the babysitting situation. I set my alarm to wake up at 4am on Saturday but was too tired to get up when it went off. So I tried again Sunday morning and again was too tired. I thought maybe I'd get to walk Sunday evening but that was a no go. So, I set my alarm for this morning then woke up at 2:46 and deactivated it b/c even in my sleep I was like "hell no." Sooooo, needless to say I felt very defeated today.

BUT!! Instead of going to Zumba or Kickboxing this evening, I put on my shoes and earplugs and clocked 3 miles. I thought it was 4 but I miscalculated. I actually could have gone a little more but it was 7:30 and I didn't want it to get dark and I had to leave to pick up my boys at 8p. All in all, I feel good about today. My overall pace was about 17.5 - 18 mins/mile. My goal is to get to a 16.5-17 mins/mile. I want to be able to jog a mile here and there to make up time. In due time, for now I need to find a longer route b/c next week I'm getting my miles in. I'm thankful for what I was able to get today, but I'm ready to kick it up a notch.

I definitely need some shoes. The ones I have are cool for now, but I think some of my foot & knee aches are related to my shoes. Now that I have a clip for my MP3 player (a cell phone holster--and only cost me a $1), my next purchase will be a stop watch. I need to get a true feel of my pace. I know my 1st mile is slow, but by the 2nd mile I'm into it and the endorphins are pumping so my pace is a little faster.

Looking forward to tomorrow--weight training! Think I'll look on the web for a routine I can use. Thank you, Lord, for a good day.

I

Oh boy!

Tuesday, July 13th was my "rest" day and I needed it b/c I was thrown for a loop. Life changes on the horizon, but it's cool. I'm not upset or afraid, just praying for guidance.

On another note, training is going well so far. On Wednesday I incorporated some strength training into my routine using sets of 21s. Afterwards I did two laps walking, two jogging (Yes, I jogged two laps continuously) and finished with 2 more laps walking. I definitely should have spent more time stretching b/c I was feeling it in my pectorals and whatever muscle is in my arm that is used when opening your arms wide (like doing a fly).

On Thursday, July 15th I timed myself at a 19min mile. I'm a little disappointed b/c I was really shooting for a 17 min mile. For the half, I really want to get my pace between 16-17mins per mile walking, so that the jogging is "extra" and I can jog to make up for time lost.

Anywhoo, I have to do better about blogging. . .

Day 10-11 catching up

I was a little bummed this weekend b/c I didn't have anyone to sit with the kids on Saturday so I didn't get a walk in. I was going to take the boys out for a stroll at least but it was raining :( There is still no excuse b/c I could have done an excercise dvd or something.

I did train on Sunday but was a little upset b/c I don't think I did the full 4 miles. I didn't track a route b/c so I tried to just shoot for 10,000 steps on my pedometer. It was 2:15 in the afternoon with the sun beaming down and I added in a few small hills. About an hour into it my knee started aching and I ran out of water. . .I really felt like I had the energy to do more but I didn't want to injure myself and be completely out of the game. So, I stopped. I did about 3.5 miles. I really want to shoot for 5 miles this weekend.

I found a website that will let you upload your walking route and view other routes, which is cool. I found a couple for Smyrna and La Vergne and am going to look up a couple for the west end/vandy area so I can jog on my lunch break.

Sometimes I feel like David--ill equipped and outnumbered--b/c I'm starting from ZERO and others are already running like 8 miles etc. Lord, I know I can do this. I know I can finish this half marathon. I know that I can stay committed to my training and complete the goal set before me. Amen!

Day 9

Yeah, baby!! I finally joined the fitness center at my office, which has both a treadmill and an outdoor rooftop track. The added bonus is that I have a place to shower when I do my walk/runs through the city. I have access to it on weekend as well, so. .. NO EXCUSES!!

The only hurdle I have now (no pun intended) is childcare for my long walk/runs but I'll let God handle that. Jenny can't keep the boys overnight b/c she has 8:30am meetings every Saturday for her job. So, that cancels out my early morning runs on Saturdays. . .some kind of way it will work out.

"If you're trying to achieve, there will be roadblocks. I've had them;
everybody has had them. But obstacles don't have to stop you. If you run into a
wall, don't turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it,
or work around it." Michael Jordan

Day 8

I had a great walk last night. It was such a beautiful night and it felt like God was speaking to me. I almost fell asleep during my stretching. . .and then I started worrying about Wale's school readiness b/c of a conversation with a friend. So I stayed up until midnight researching info. All that time spent walking with God and meditating over "promises" "commitment" "trust" "consistency" and I was so easily distracted. Before I laid down I just said "Lord, I lay this at your feet and pray for direction and wisdom." I slept like a log :)

During lunch today I didn't feel like hopping in the car (now I remember that I need gas, dern it!) so I put on my music and started walking. Before I knew it I had racked up 7000 steps (and a nice perspiration). My training schedule only called for 30 mins today but I got in about 45 minutes. Even though it's hot, it is such a beautiful day. That leaves my evening free. . .think I'll do an activity with the boys.

Day 7

"How are you using your time? Search your heart and think about what is important to God. There is a time and a place for everything. With God's wisdom and guidance, you will find the answers."

The above was taken from one of my guided journals. It's funny that I came upon this one b/c this last week I do feel like I have more of a sense of order. As I'm going through my routine I can hear God saying "okay, now do this or don't worry about that." To some that may sound crazy but for those who know me, they know I try to do ever dern thing. I'm learning to do what I can, while always striving to be a little better, and let the rest happen when it happens.

Yesterday evening the boys and I went walking around the neighborhood after dinner and then we colored for a little while (I did a great job on my sailboat, thank you very much). I didn't feel rushed or harried. We just enjoyed our evening--of course, they got on my nerves a couple of times.

Today I need to get in a 25 minute stroll, but I have a committment at lunch. I'm going to get it in this evening (notice I didn't say "try to get it in"). Thank you Lord, for guidance and order and wisdom and time management.

Day 6

I'm off to a great start, slow & steady! My computer has a virus so I couldn't update for Days 3-5 so here's the recap.

Day 3 (Saturday) was a "rest" day so I just hung out with the boys and ran errands. I did a lot of stretching and reading and movie watching.

Day 4 (Sunday) I jog/walked 3.2 miles in 50 minutes. Considering I did it at 2:10pm with the hot sun beating down on me, I think I did a great job. I was so proud of myself. About 1/4 into the first mile I started alternating jogging & walking every three mailboxes. I stuck with walking about half way into the distance b/c the heat was starting to get to me and since it was my first "long stint" I didn't want to over do it. Once the endorphins start kicking in I feel invincible and have to stop myself from pushing too hard. The last thing I want to do is injur myself.

This week I will be joing the gym in my office so that I can get my runs and cross-training session in during lunch or even come in early since they have showers, a track, and equipment.

My prayer at this point is for the committment to remain consistent in my training and keep pushing forward towards the goal. Maybe God planted this desire in me to help me learn what it is to be committed to a personal goal. Maybe it is to spend time with him b/c the whole time I'm out there I'm praying and talking to God and myself. We shall see. . .

Day 2

I have a running buddy!! A girl at work is going to run/workout with me at lunch. She is a former track buff--relays, cross country--so, she's going to help me with form and some basics that I don't know (and can't pay someone to teach me).

I consulted my training calendar and I'm actually right on track :) The calendar called for a 25min run yesterday (which I did, thank you very much) and an easy walk today. This evening I think I'll take the boys to the park after dinner and just walk around while they play.

This is do-able. At first I thought I was crazy trying to go from zero to 60 in 12 weeks. But I can do all things!! Why? Because God said I could. I am powerful, fierce, determined and an all around badd mamma jamma!!

July 1, 2010, Day 1

Although I did not wake up this morning to run as I had planned, I consider the day a success because I completed a 1.5 mile walk/jog this evening. I thank God for small steps b/c it could have been a big zilch.

I realize that I've been over thinking this whole running thing. First of all, no one said I had to run the whole thing or technically"run." For now, my goal is simply to finish it within the 4.5 hours alotted. If I keep the pace I had tonight I could actually finish it in a little over 3 hours---but keeping that pace for 1.5 miles versus 13.1 miles is nothing. Over the next 12 weeks my greatest challenge will be my endurance, commitment, and consistency.

Why am I even doing this?? I guess I need some type of goal or acheivement to keep me motivated and focused on exercise. I've already picked out a 5k and a 9mile run to do in the next couple of months. My short term goal is to run the 5k (completely) and just finish the 9 mile. If I can do 9 miles, adding 4 more won't kill me (right??).

Anywhoo, off to shower and sleep so I can start it all again tomorrow. Think I need to really map out my training schedule. That's a next step. . .and shoes.