Random Rambling and Rants

Today is one of those days when I have so much to say, so many thoughts that I'd like to share but none of it really flows nicely together and not all of it is cheery.

Here is the truth: going from Fat to Fit is not easy. People looking at me don't know that I've lost 89 pounds; they just see a sorta fat girl. I feel like some people don't take me seriously because I don't fit the mold. And what do I do? I look in the mirror and get frustrated because it feels like I should look so much better than I do. When I look in that mirror I forget how much more of me there used to be. I forget that I lived a lifetime of being overweight and my poor body is doing it's best to transform as fast as I'm kicking it's butt. I get frustrated because my time is limited and there is so much I want to do. I wake up at 5am and get in a run; if I'm even 10 minutes behind schedule it messes up my goal because I have a very limited window in which to accomplish my goal. Every waking moment of my life is centered around being responsible for other people and things; some days I resent it, some days I accept it, some days I cry, some days I pick up my cross and roll on.

Even after losing 89 pounds I still have to lose about 90 pounds to get to a "healthy" weight range. Say what??? How about you take your charts and. . .I digress.

What is the point of all my rambling? THIS IS NOT EASY!! And the trials are not all physical. On top of all of the above I deal with people discounting my accomplishments because I had LapBand surgery. They think because I had surgery weight loss is easy for me. Trust me, it is not. LapBand is not like gastric bypass. You don't get this dramatic loss of 100+ pounds in 6 months. It's slower and honestly, I have no regrets because it's helped me practice healthier eating habits. I haven't had an adjustment since April 2010 and I refuse to get one any time soon because with the way I workout I was constantly battling dehydration and getting enough nutrients to keep my body performing. Even without a fill I can eat like a normal person. I remember before surgery I would watch other people eat and feel like some alien because I wasn't full. I remember eating a 20 piece nugget meal with three sweet & sour sauces. I remember eating a gyro AND a Philly cheese steak sandwich from Wedgy's--with the two bags of chips!! Jesus. . .

As hard as this journey gets sometimes, I am thankful for every challenge and triumph along the way. Sometimes it bothers me that others can't see my awesomeness just by looking at me, but then I remember that I don't do this for them. When I start beating myself up about how I look right now, I remember how I looked "then" and thank God for the progress.

So I hope that when you hit your bumps and potholes you find a way to maneuver around them. It's okay to scream and maybe shout an expletive or two. Once you get it out, get back on the road with exuberance and joy. Do this thing with zeal, with passion, with energy, with tenacity.   

Fit Girl OUT!!!!!!!

Mind, Body, Spirit Moment

A sound mind in a sound body is a short but full description of a happy state in this world. ~John Locke

At this point I probably sound like a broken record, but a couple of conversations over the past week prompt me to restate a former comment: When you start working on improving one element it prompts you to make changes in the other areas.

Last week we a had a pow-wow before TriCord Fit Club that uncovered for one participant that the work she needed to put in was not just physical. How we view ourselves and the self-talk in which we participate effect what we do and how we do it. If I'm constantly telling myself that I'm not worth much, that I'm nothing special then why would I even attempt to go beyond my comfort zone? And are we really comfortable in that "comfort" zone?

The other day I talked to a friend who has been working on improving her health. During the course of that journey she realized that she had been holding on to a relationship that was not healthy for her and if she continued to hold on she would only repeat the patterns that had led to her weight gain.

For me the journey began when I woke up from depression one day and realized that I could get more and do more with my life if I decided to do something different. I started looking for opportunities to make a difference in my community. I let go of a relationship that was not healthy for me. I took time to know my family. And then I was ready to start on the weight loss journey. Now it all moves like the cogs in clock, moving me forward.

Every day is not perfect, but if you take the time to nurture each aspect then we progress toward true "fitness." Maybe that's too deep for some people. Maybe they only care about a dress size. Maybe they only concern themselves with the spiritual things. Maybe they only seek knowledge and mental health. What I know is that a deficiency in one aspect makes for a life lived less fully than God desires for me.


To become a member of Jenita Lawal's team, please visit www.beachbodycoach.com/fitgirlposse and sign up for a free membership. To view the Fit Girl Posse run/walk schedule, visit http://www.fitgirlposse.com/ . Follow us on Facebook at www.facebook.com/fitgirlposse or Twitter @FitGirlPosse

Saving Grace

This past weekend I completed the 13.1 Chicago although if you look for my name on the results page of their site you won't find it. According to the official results only 130 people finished the race. What you miss when you view that page are the stories of all those who finished even after the race was called, the water stations were abandoned, and the clocks turned off. You don't see the determination of those who left it all on the pavement along Lakeshore Drive.



Before the start



I have been looking forward to this race since last November when I participated in the Hot Chocolate 15k/5k in Chicago. I fell in love with Chicago as a racing city. The runners are diverse and anything within the city is flat and fast--coming from Nashville I can so appreciate that.  Unlike my training for the Tom King Classic, I was ready for the distance and apparently for the heat.

Everything about the 13.1 Chicago was great: the registration ($13.10 off the registration fee), the communication, the shuttle set up, the location, the packet pick-up (quick and organized), the after party plan (pizza, beer, and massages--seriously). . .and the flag system.  What could not be controlled was the weather. The day of the race temps were 79 degrees at 7:00am. For runners of a half-marathon, that's not a good thing. The heat makes your effort much harder. The heat means a greater chance of dehydration, leg cramps, sunburn, heat exhaustion or something more serious. . .The race started under a yellow flag which meant that runners were cautioned to slow their pace and stay hydrated.

The day before the race my mission was hydration. During the Tom King Classic I suffered serious leg cramps mid race due to dehydration, high temps, and poor training. I was determined not to repeat my mistakes. The morning of the race I kept working at centering myself, getting my thoughts in check. This was my third venture into half-marathon land but I still had the doubt, the feeling of "who am I to be here" as I looked around at the real runners. I turned on my music, did my warm up, drank three cups of water, prayed, cried a little (yes, I did), and then let it all GO.

When the race started my energy was high--I was dancing and chatting up a storm. My friend Toya was at the end of the starting chute cheering me on. I ran for about 1:30 then started my walk/run intervals, making sure to keep my tempo. Folks looked at me a little strange when I cheered at the end of mile 1. I hit my mark and finished mile 1 in 13:39. Two miles were done in 27:42. Four miles done in 57:38. I was so excited because I was keeping the pace I'd worked so hard for over the past weeks. After mile 5 I started to feel the heat even though I had run smart; I had changed from running intervals to running only in shaded areas or ten minutes into the new mile. So, after mile 5 I stopped running at all and used a faster walk pace.

I was so happy to hit mile 7 because it meant there was more course behind me than in front of me. My happiness turned to annoyance and almost tears when one of coordinators announced that the race had been stopped and we were to head to the shuttles to be driven to the finish line. What?? That explained why the clocks no longer flashed on the mile markers and I hadn't notice the flags changing from yellow to red to black because I was so focused on MY race. A few of us asked if we could finish anyway and they said it was up to us but they were advising everyone to take the shuttles. HELL NO! was my response. I trained for this and I was doing a fabulous job. FIT GIRL, FORWARD!!!



The finish line!!!

 Maybe my righteous indignation put a little more pep in my step. All I know is that I refused to just be handed a medal. To date I don't have any DNFs on my record and I did not travel all the way to Chicago to get one. All of a sudden I heard an old No Limit (you know, Master P and the crew) in my head, "I won't stop now, I can't stop. You can't stop me, so (dude) don't try. We true soldiers we don't stop! We keep rollin nah nah nah nah nah!" With that gusto I finished 8 miles in 1:59:48.

That glory only lasted two more miles because as I cleared mile 9 they pulled all the water stations and left jugs of water with empty cups at the abandoned aid stations. From mile 10 to 12 I kept it conservative and was only focused on finishing, my time no longer a concern. As much as I wanted to finish in less than three hours, my safety came first. At mile 11 I could feel the heat getting to me and when I stopped to get some water my legs started cramping a little.

I was elated as I came into the chute and others shouted "way to go!" "good job" "you did it!".   When I crossed the finish line one of my dearest friends, someone I used to watch run, hugged me and draped my medal around my neck.   What I didn't know as I traversed the last few miles was that another had lost his life due to the heat and 11 others had been taken to the hospital. No, I didn't hit my finish time goal. But I am so thankful that by God's grace I finished, yet again.



Reflecting and relishing the victory



This post is dedicated to Zachary Gregory, the 26 year old runner who lost his life on Saturday, June 4th during the race.

To become a member of Jenita Lawal's team, please visit www.beachbodycoach.com/fitgirlposse  and sign up for a free membership. To view the Fit Girl Posse run/walk schedule, visit http://www.fitgirlposse.com/ . Follow us on Facebook at www.facebook.com/fitgirlposse  or Twitter @FitGirlPosse

Mind, Body, Spirit Moment

"The toughest thing about success is that you've got to keep on being a success." ~Irving Berlin


Wouldn’t it be great if we really could “lose” weight and never “find” it again? The daunting thing about weight-loss is that it’s a never ending journey—or battle in some cases. You “lose” 20 pounds to fit into a wedding dress and brag to all your friends about how well you did and then four months later you’ve found those 20 pounds plus six more. What was the point?

There is no resting on your laurels if you want to keep the weight away. That is the reason why quick fixes and magic creams don’t work. Sustained success takes sustained habits and behaviors that net desired results.

Sometimes that means doing things that don’t come naturally or that go against what feels good in the short-term. That means working past the point where you really want to quit. If you never get past that point how will you ever experience success?


Be Fit4Life!!


To become a member of Jenita Lawal's team, please visit www.beachbodycoach.com/fitgirlposse  and sign up for a free membership. To view the Fit Girl Posse run/walk schedule, visit http://www.fitgirlposse.com/ . Follow us on Facebook at www.facebook.com/fitgirlposse  or Twitter @FitGirlPoss