On the eve of race day...

"No matter how old I get, the race remains one of life's most rewarding experiences. My times become slower and slower, but the experience of the race is unchanged: each race a drama, each race a challenge, each race stretching me in one way or another, and each race telling me more about myself and others." ~ Dr. George Sheehan

2012 1/2 Marathon Finishers Medal

Tomorrow morning I will participate in my fifth half marathon and yet I'm as nervous as if it were my first. I don't know why this one has caused me so much anxiety. Maybe because it's been six months since my last half  marathon. Maybe because this will be the largest race in which I've participated. Maybe because among the racers will be co-workers, running mates, and friends. Maybe because I only trained for eight weeks and missed two long runs. The other night I actually dreamed that I missed the race and went to a bootleg man to buy a medal but he ran out and I was like, "Dude! I can't go home without a medal. I can't get a DNF!!" Hilarious!!

To add to my anxiety my right arch and knee are feeling weird. I'm not sure what to do about it, so we'll just see how it goes tomorrow. This evening I will do a portion of P90X's Stretch X to help loosen up any tightness and I've taken a Motrin to alleviate any inflammation I may have. And of course I've been hydrating (my urine is so pretty--to other runners that's not gross)!! I'm also praying and making myself relax. The things I can control I will. Everything else is in God's hands. 

One thing that I've learned through distance racing is that you never know what's ahead. No matter how much you study the course map or how well you've trained, to a certain point you have very little control over the outcome. I count it a blessing each time I finish because others who were faster, skinnier, and more experienced than me have lost their lives or suffered major injuries on the course; but God has seen fit each time to lead me on to a victorious end. 

So, my game plan for tomorrow is:

• Breakfast 1 (as soon as I wake up): Shakeology
• Breakfast 2 (about 60-30 mins before start): slice of bread w/PB and banana
• Mid-race recharge: pack of GU at mile 7, drink Energy & Endurance at mile 8
• Parking at my office (last potty break) and walking/jogging the .8 miles to the start as my warm-up
• After the finish, walk to the bus depot and hop on the bus back to my car

To all those participating tomorrow, I pray good hydration, strong legs, and a great finish. Godspeed!! 

"ME" in TEAM?

"I used to run with doubt, but now she can't keep up!" ~posted in BGR!Nashville


I think that people who have played sports have an ability to relate to people because when you're playing you have to work on teams and with opposing players. ~Michael Michele

At the end of a race I can give you a blow by blow of each mile--what I was thinking, how I was feeling, my time/pace, etc. I use that blow by blow to progress. Was my fueling on point? If not, where do I need to adjust? Did I run out of steam during the race, if so where and how can I do better the next time out? You take notice of these things because each time you stand at the starting line your goal is to be better than the last time. Why do it if you never make any forward progression? Why gear up if you aren't going to compete against that person in your head? I may never win my age-gender group. I may never be first to cross the finish line. But I work to win against that person in my head continually.

Over the past two months I've been training for the St. Jude Country Music Half Marathon while also playing on a softball team and a flag football team. For me, playing on an athletic team is uncharted territory because I've always been the smart, fat kid. To date, my group competition involved Quiz Bowl, Academic Decathlon, Mock Trial, debate, and oration. But even then, I was competitive-my Mock Trial team can attest to that. I used to stay up until two o'clock in the morning going over the case, the stipulations, and the objections. When I delivered my closing arguments I would look intently at the jury, while all the while my ears were burning, and when I had one person wrapped up in my story I would move to the next. The point?

The difference in those experiences and running and these two teams is that I have to learn that I am not solely responsible for the final outcome. All I can do is play my position to the best of my ability and support my teammates. There is a measure of control that you give up when you play team sports and it can be very hard. I am a coach by nature (and as part of my business) but not everyone takes very well to that, so I'm learning that when I'm on the field I am a player, not the coach. My role is my role and the team functions best when I operate at my very best in my role.

While my teams are not doing as well as I had anticipated (right now--we still have time!), I am thankful for the experience. I am so glad that I chose to join athletic teams instead of signing up for a fitness class because I've found a treasure within and have had the opportunity to connect with more people. I'm also having to use my body in very different ways than required by running. When you're at bat or throwing a softball (or football) you have to engage your core. When you're on kick-off return you have to employ  your quads and calves to hoof it down the field. Making it to home plate is not as easy as it looks!

In seven days I will line up at the start line to complete 13.1 miles--my fifth time taking on a half marathon--with my goal firmly set in my mind and written on my heart. Whatever happens along that course will be solely on my shoulders. Just a few hours after finishing, I will don my flag football uniform and play with my team as we take on our opponents. Victory or defeat, we walk on and off the field together. The juxtaposition of the two events will make for an interesting day. Bring it...

My Inner Tiger

The long run is what puts the tiger in the cat. ~ Bill Squires

Some people think I'm strange. Actually, I've always been a little different, skirting on the outside of groups. Never an outcast but never quite part of the crowd. At this point in my life I am so totally okay with that because well, I am different and I am learning to love it. As I've grown along this fitness journey I have had to be different than those formerly familiar with me. I've had to make choices that others probably wouldn't make so that makes them look at you as different, not bad just different.

Last week I was on vacation in Savannah, GA visiting my family and just bumming around town. Before packing my bags I mapped out a 10-mile route around my family's neighborhood so that my training (for the St. Jude Country Music Half Marathon on Apr 28th and the 13.1 Chicago on June 9th) would not be derailed. My stepdad looked at me with his head cocked to the side, as if he was making sure it was me he was talking to. Along the route the only other runners I encountered were soldiers (which of course fed my ego!), everyone else was walking or riding bikes. I wasn't even done with mile one when I realized that I had NEVER run anywhere in Savannah. Never ran to catch a CAT (haha, only folks from SAV will get that), never jogged around the lake (I walked), never ran up my street. I actually came back from vacation five pounds lighter. Yeah, I'm different.

 Today, I have even more proof that I'm different--inside and out. I put on a pair of size 10 shorts (real shorts) and a tank top that used to scream when I put it on. I stared at myself in the mirror for a couple of minutes because I've never seen this person. I've never visualized myself any smaller than a size 14 because it never seemed possible.

As I continue my training for the two upcoming half marathons, I am a little calmer than last year. Not because I'm resting on my laurels but because I have a deep seated assurance that I am fierce and will not fail. Have you ever watched a tiger run on those animal kingdom or Discovery Channel shows? They look so determined, so sure footed, so powerful. Even when they aren't moving at full speed they remember that they are powerful. I suppose that is really what is different for me. No matter what obstacle, no matter what endeavor--running, softball, flag football, child rearing, coaching--I know that I am powerful. Growl, baby!