We cannot become what we need to be by remaining what

we are. — Max Depree

Changing your life is hard. Challenging people's perceptions is hard. Confronting your inner demons is hard. Practicing discipline and self-control is hard. Add on top of all this, dealing with friends and family while attempting to change. I understand some of how Jesus felt when he had to leave home to step into his ministry. I understand some of what a reformed addict or recently released convict feels (thinking of First Time Offender and 28 Days). It is hard to sustain change when those around you are working against you or are lying in wait for you to revert back to your old self.

While I have received positive feedback from many friends and family members, I still get those who are like "yeah, whatever." One friend even said, "How can a fat girl tell a skinny person how to eat?" That comment so deflated me. It was like someone had thrown a glass of ice water in my face. Couple that with the looks I get when I tell people that I'm a Beachbody Coach. It reminds me of how I feel when I'm racing--alone and out of place, as if people are thinking "what is she doing here?". Amazing that after 79 pounds and many, many miles on the pavement and treadmill my self esteem hops back to that dark place. I thought I left those feelings behind? Those feelings made me go back and think about why I do what I do. The "why" for my current passion. It took me back to my 4th grade May Day Celebration.

Picture it, late April 1987 in beautiful Hawaii. The entire fourth grade class of Hale Kula Elementary were set to perform a hula. My dilemma? We had to all get up from a cross-legged position simultaneously without using our hands--basically, using only your leg muscles to get up. Dude what??? I was mortified. All I could see was me falling or not being able to do it and the audience laughing at the fat girl. I practiced until my legs were sore! I could not face that type of humiliation. On the big day I did it!! I was elated, ecstatic even. . .but not because I was able to do it, but rather, because I avoided humiliation. I avoided being singled out, a joke, a disgrace. I can't tell you any other tidbit about that day or the actual hula; I just remember avoiding the shame.

While others may be comfortable with me remaining that person--that girl so afraid of humiliation that she discounts her accomplishments or sits out of life--I am no longer comfortable there. To become the person I want to be for my self, my children, my family, my friends, and my community I have to be different. If others don't understand that or support that then "deuces!" This train will continue to keep moving and I will continue to post my blog, share fitness tidbits, encourage others to get active, and all those things that some find annoying. I know that they find me annoying because my action causes them to question their actions. It challenges them to BE different. Some will accept the challenge and others will not. . .Either way I will keep trudging along making a difference one mile at a time. . .one person at a time.

If I had a dollar. . .

"Obstacles don't have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don't turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it." -- Michael Jordan 

 

If I had a dollar for every excuse I hear for why people don't workout. I dig it because I used to make excuses and justify my sedentary lifestyle. Seemed like as soon as I got into a groove something would happen and disrupt it: got married, had babies, got divorced, couldn't afford gym dues, work schedule changed, no shower at work, too tired, no time, too many skinny people watching.

Here is a glimpse of a typical day for me:

• Wake up 5am
• Hit snooze until about 5:10am
• Get up and get in a quick 20 min workout (30 min if I actually get up at 5:00a)
• At 5:30 my coffee maker pops on and I start to smell the heavenly goodness that is cafe (ahhh!)
• Start reading my study (currently Spiritual Leadership by J. Oswald Sanders), I shoot for one chapter a day
• By 5:45 the boys may be up so I send them to put on their clothes (which is an exercise in futility for the twins b/c they put everything on backwards and have to announce to me their every move--Mommy, I put my socks in the dirty clothes)
• At 6:00 it's crunch time and we're all getting dressed, brushing teeth, combing hair, putting on shoes, packing lunch bag, etc.
• At 6:45 I start cursing because we should be in the car.
• By 7:00 we're on the road and the Menaces are attempting to dictate the music selection
• The Menaces are dropped off to daycare by 7:30 (on a good day!) and I'm off to work
• 7:58 I'm rushing to my desk to get the day started
• 1:00 is my lunch hour and four days a week it's committed to the gym--no negotiations
• Fast forward to 5:00p, I'm a whirl of activity as I shut off lights, computers, and drop off pkgs to the mail room. Rush to my car and prepare myself for the joy that is Highway 24E traffic.
• 6:00p The Menaces are back in the car making A & B musical selections and telling me every five minutes that they are hungry.
• 6:30p we are home and it's dinner, baths, story, preparing clothes and lunches for next day, cleaning kitchen (maybe. . .)
• 8:30p The Menaces exit stage left and it's MOMMY TIME, which typically means get in a missed workout, handle my business ventures, pack my gym bag, wash/dry/fold a load of laundry, or watch The Closer. Sometimes these things are done simultaneously.
• 10p (or sometime thereafter) time to hit the sheets. . .And do it all again in the morning.

Why am I sharing my day? Because I want you to look me in the eyes (or monitor, hee hee) and give me an excuse as to why YOU aren't doing something for your health. I want you tell me what in your day is more important than you doing something to lessen your chance of heart disease, high blood pressure, fatigue, and other morbidities. You are important enough to eek out the time in your day. The crazy thing is that you will FEEL so much better (energy, clarity, strength, self esteem) when you do. Dude, endorphins rock!

Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to come up with a rebuttal (an anti-excuse) for every excuse you have ever made for not exercising. Then think of a way to improvise--ahead of time--for any obstacle that might present itself. One of my favorite quotes is "A bend in the road is not the end of the road, unless you fail to make the turn."  I'm not expecting you to become a star athelte or telling you to drop 600 lbs. Activity is not about asthetics; it's about being healthy--at any size. At a size 16 (okay, some 18s) I can beat the breaks off a unhealthy size 6--trust and believe this girl is bad!

Now get to it!! And I don't want to hear your belly-aching (in my best drill sargeant voice)!!

Victory. . .One Mile at a Time

"That quitting action is what's most detrimental because it fosters negative self-attribution, which can manifest as (negative self-talk) that becomes a vicious cycle. Once you're hooked in that negative self-talk, you lose steam and motivation"--from "Lighten Up" by Jayme Otto, Runner's World Magazine

For a week I've been contemplating and meditating on what to share. While I'm not one to create lofty (and basically half-baked) resolutions, I do believe that the new year is a great time to think about renewal, revamping, refocusing, redefining. Perhaps it's also because my birthday is in January; it makes me evaluate where I am in my life. Whatever the reason, I have been focused on my goals for 2011. The trick to making goals--as opposed to resolutions--is that goals require process. Goals require a plan of action. Think about it. Does a soccer player kick the ball once from the opposite end of the field and actually expect to make a goal?? No, the team devises a strategy to make it down field and score. (feel free to scream "GOOOOOAAAALLLL!!!!) A lot of us give it several big kicks and decide the goal is unattainable. Is it really? Or could you have scored by making it up the field yard by yard?

Three major goals for me this year are to 1) live a balanced life, 2) lose 60lbs, 3) complete four (4) half-marathons. For each of these goals I have sub-goals. For example, living a balanced life means committing myself to get rest because I tend to short-change myself in that area. It also means prioritizing my time and having a game plan for accomplishing things. Losing 60 lbs means I need to tighten up on my eating, which has been my struggle. So the sub-goals for that are to plan my meals, lessen the amount of convenience foods I buy, and commit to eating breakfast (which I tend to skip). It's crazy to admit, but the easiest goal on my list is completing the four half-marathons this year. Yes, I said easiest. I say that because training for me is actually enjoyable. The challenge comes in making the time to train. The added benefit is that training for the halfs will help me accomplish the goal of losing 60 lbs.

What are your goals for 2011? If you can't think that far ahead, then make a couple of goals for the next 30 days. Whatever your goal, remember that victory is won one mile at a time, one step at a time. Celebrate the days you succeed and try to understand what happened on the days you were not successful (and be honest with yourself). Write down your progress so that when you feel discouraged you can go back and view your journey.

I want to leave you with a few quotes that have inspired me this week. They are focused on "vision" because in order to succeed you have to visualize it first. You have to see yourself victorious. I remember one day during my training last year I completed what would be the final segment of the race. When I walked past the point that would be the finish line, I could hear cheers and see balloons. I just started smiling and pumping my fist (which caused the tourists to stare). I had a vision of success.

Remember these quotes as you push towards your goal. Turn one into a mantra (or create your own mantra!). Whatever you do, don't let the negativity and doubt keep you from reaching victory. Combat that negative self-talk and doubt with a VISION OF VICTORY!

• Where there is no vision, the people perish. . .Proverbs 29:18


• A vision is not just a picture of what could be; it is an appeal to our better selves, a call to become something more. --Rosabeth Moss Kanter

• If we are to survive, we must have ideas, vision, and courage. These things are rarely produced by committees. Everything that matters in our intellectual and moral life begins with an individual confronting his own mind and conscience in a room by himself. --Arthur M. Schlesinger, Jr.

• Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes. --Carl Jung

• When you have vision it affects your attitude. Your attitude is optimistic rather than pessimistic. --Charles R. Swindoll

• Every moment is a golden one for him who has the vision to recognize it as such.--Henry Miller

• The only limits are, as always, those of vision.--James Broughton